


Requiem

by sugawarakovshi



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Abusive Miklan (Fire Emblem), Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27734446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugawarakovshi/pseuds/sugawarakovshi
Summary: Miklan had turned into a giant, raging, demonic beast right in front of him. That was bad. Sylvain had been forced to land the final blow on him to prevent any more of his friends from getting hurt. That was bad too. But Miklan shifting back into a human after he was killed? That was the worst. Sylvain had to look at the dead body of his brother laying on the ground right in front of him. His brother who he killed.or sylvain dealing with his conflicting feelings about miklan's death
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Kudos: 36





	Requiem

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is about Sylvain dealing with Miklan's death. It doesn't really go into detail about the death, but the fic is entirely about Sylvain grieving for Miklan and having conflicting feelings about it since Miklan was terrible. There are a few mentions of abuse that were mentioned in canon.
> 
> Please be aware of this and don't read it if it may be triggering to you!

The ride back to the monastery is deafeningly silent. Sylvain, under the Professor’s orders, is riding in the carriage with the wounded. Apparently Byleth doesn’t trust him to ride his own horse back. He doesn’t blame her, of course. His brother did just die in front of him. By his own hand. 

Miklan had turned into a giant, raging, demonic beast right in front of him. That was bad. Sylvain had been forced to land the final blow on him to prevent any more of his friends from getting hurt. That was bad too. But Miklan shifting back into a human after he was killed? That was the worst. Sylvain had to look at the dead body of his brother laying on the ground right in front of him. His brother who he killed. 

Usually Sylvain puts on his cheerful and flirty facade, but right now he’s finding it difficult to sit upright, let alone try to speak. He barely notices when Mercedes finishes healing someone, walks over, and takes his right hand. He can’t bring himself to look at her.

He feels a damp cloth over his hand and wrist. When she finishes, Sylvain looks down and sees the cloth has turned red. Ah. She was wiping his dead brother’s blood off of him.

Mercedes holds his hand for the rest of the ride back and he’s thankful that she doesn’t try to speak to him. He might lose his composure that’s barely holding on by a thread. 

When they get back to the monastery, Byleth postpones their post-battle meeting until the next day. Somewhere in his mind Sylvain knows that she’s taking pity on him. 

Sylvain walks around with his eyes glazed over. He vaguely hears his friends trying to get his attention but he keeps walking. They probably mean well but Sylvain can’t handle functioning right now. He doesn’t know how to think or speak so he just walks. 

His brother is dead. He may have been a demonic beast, both physically and metaphorically, but Sylvain still killed his own brother. 

He takes the long way to the dorms. He walks past the stables. Ordinarily he would spend time with the horses, talk to them as he brushes their manes. Maybe spend time with Marianne and try to get her to smile. Today, there were too many people. Too many looks of pity. So he keeps walking. 

He reaches the small cemetery and sees Jeralt talking to one of the headstones. One of the many thoughts buzzing around his head is that Miklan is going to be in a cemetery now. He’s going to have a headstone. Would Sylvain ever visit? Does Miklan deserve that? He keeps walking. 

He passes the training grounds and finds Dimitri, soaked with sweat, attacking one of the training dummies with a lance. Dedue is there, arms crossed like he’s bothered by something. Sylvain keeps walking. 

He finally makes it to the dorms and forces his legs to take him up the stairs. He walks down the hallway and stops just short of his room. It’s not where he intended to go but he knocks on the door anyway. 

When Felix opens the door, his expression doesn’t change. Thank the Goddess. Felix opens his door further and doesn’t say anything. Sylvain takes this as an invitation to come in. He takes off his shoes and armor, sits on Felix’s bed. Felix sits beside him wordlessly. 

Why the hell did Miklan have to go and steal the Lance of Ruin?! Sylvain knew he had fallen in with a group of bandits but why did he have to go so far? Goddess, he hates his brother but he never thought he would have to kill him. 

“Fuck.” Sylvain mutters. He runs his hands over his face. 

“What a moron.” Felix says. 

“I can’t believe he did that. Actually, you know what, I can believe it. Whatever it takes to have some power, right? Stealing the Lance, trying to murder his kid brother, anything. I hate him, Fe. I really do.”

“I know.” Felix responds. 

“And look where it got him. Dead. Murdered by the kid brother he tried to kill so many times.” 

Sylvain’s not sure when his eyes started tearing up. He forces out a laugh but it sounds more like a sob. He digs the palm of his right hand into his eye. 

“Sylvain-” 

“I know, Fe. I know it was a demonic beast. I know that I did it to save everyone. I know that it could have been anyone that landed the final blow. But the fact is, it wasn’t anyone. It was me and it was Miklan and I have to live with that.” Sylvain says, moving on the bed so his back is against the wall.

Felix doesn’t make eye contact but he moves back as well. He bumps their shoulders together for a moment. “You do. You have to live with that.”

Sylvain lays his head on Felix’s shoulder. “I always thought that Miklan would be killed randomly by some thief or something one day. He would get what he deserved and that would be it. Now there’s all these confusing feelings. Why the hell am I grieving for someone I didn’t even like?”

“I’d be worried if you weren’t feeling like this. Miklan was fucked up but he was still your family. Maybe you’re not mourning for _him_ but for the brother you wish he was.”

“He could have been a good person, you know? If I wasn’t born with a crest, he wouldn’t have been disowned.” Sylvain feels a hot tear roll down his cheek. “If I didn’t exist, maybe he would have had a better life.” 

Felix moves his shoulder, forcing Sylvain to lift his head. He looks at his best friend and finds an angry look on his face. 

“That’s bullshit.” Felix says. “Miklan was a shitty person _before_ he was disowned. And both of us know damn well that your parents would have kept having children until one of them bore a crest.”

The older boy sniffles and nods. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right, Fe.”

“You’re dealing with a shitty situation right now but you don’t have to blame yourself for the actions of your brother. He chose his path, not you.”

“I know,” Sylvain sighs. “Sorry. I just have so much going on in my head right now.”

“Don’t apologize. And you don’t have to go through this alone.” 

“Yeah, like anyone else knows how it feels.” Sylvain closes his eyes and exhales. 

Images of their childhood flash through his mind. Sylvain and Felix sword fighting with sticks, Miklan staring at them with contempt, Glenn carefully watching Miklan. Ah. Glenn.

“Sorry, I-” Sylvain starts.

“No, you’re right.” Felix interrupts. “I don’t know how it feels. My brother died, yeah. But I wasn’t there. I didn’t kill him and I didn’t see his body. Our precious Boar Prince lost his parents but he’s not the one who did it. And our families were decent people. Miklan wasn’t. There’s no way we know how it feels.” 

Sylvain laughs. “It feels like shit.” 

“I just… don’t want you to end up like us, okay?” 

“What?” He looks at Felix once more. The swordsman is pointedly looking anywhere but at Sylvain.

“Look. Just don’t get all fucked up like me because of this. And Goddess, please don’t end up like Dimitri. Mourn and move on. Let the dead stay dead.” 

The red head nods slowly.

The pair sit in silence for a while, neither paying attention to how much time has passed. Eventually, Sylvain lays down with his arms behind his head and stares at the ceiling. He puts his legs in Felix’s lap and, in the midst of the hundreds of thoughts racing through his head, he’s surprised that Felix doesn’t complain.

Felix is the one to break the silence. “You better not fall asleep.”

“Aw, you won’t let me sleep over?” Sylvain teases. 

“Your room is only two doors down. Sleep there.” Felix rolls his eyes.

Sylvain smiles sadly. He considers getting up, but an image of Miklan’s dead body flashes through his head. He lifts his head to meet Felix’s eyes. 

“I don’t want to be alone tonight, Fe.” 

Felix scans Sylvain’s face and nods. He stands up and blows out the candles he was using for light before laying down beside Sylvain. 

Sylvian wants to make a joke about the sleepovers they had when they were younger, but he can’t bring himself to speak any longer. 

When Sylvain finally falls asleep, his limbs are tangled with Felix’s and the younger boy's arms are wrapped around him. He doesn’t feel happy, and he probably won’t for a while. But he does feel safe.


End file.
